A long time coming

As you can tell, I’ve been a long time away.  The Man left me on this earth alone almost two years ago.  He lived to his 90th birthday on November 6, 2014 and he was gone by December 1st.  It will take me awhile to tell all the stories we shared leading to that fateful day.

I’m still mourning, often without people understanding, myself not understanding what exactly is happening to me.

I am alone.

 

To my babies on starting the school year

Always look forward, never backward, every day you get the privilege of going and are able to learn. There are so many that cannot and want to. If you are open and honest you will find something good every day, and if you are ready to learn there will aways be someone ready to teach you. If it is hard work, so be it. Hard work is nothing; we can do that. Not for accolades or rewards do you work hard, but rather to grow inside as a person of good character. If you will do this one simple thing, the world will open its arms to welcome you and your success will be immeasurable.

Love and Peace

If I don’t like it, I can walk away!

The story begins with a check we received in the mail.  A $15 check from a hospital that The Man was in over a year ago.  Just a check; nothing else.  It wasn’t worth trying to find out the source or the reason, so I stuck it in my purse to cash it for a little pocket change.  Of course, I forgot about it and got a bit panicky when I thought about it and realized it had been a couple of months since I received it.  Fearing there was some sort of expiration date, I whipped into the bank’s drive thru when, in the little town 13 miles from home, I was picking up The Man’s prescriptions.  I don’t use the bank much; I said I was going to close the account when my favorite officer retired, but as usual I had procrastinated.   Hurrying to the drive-in window, I stopped, turned he check over and signed my name to the back.  The  bank teller asked me for the last four of my Social saying, “Ms. McCoy I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”  (I have only banked there since 1980.) After what I believed to be somewhat of a wait to cash a $15 check, she returned to the window to tell me that they were unable to cash the check because it was made out to The Man, yet I had signed it.  I protested, “We both sign on the account.”  “Sorry, Ms. McCoy, it’s policy.”  Of course, it was too late to just pull out of sight and sign The Man’s name, and I should have just looked at the front before I arrived.  I always sign his name anyway; he never wants to.  (So arrest me;  I don’t think he will testify.) I took the check back out of the little moving box and tore it into approximately 100 pieces and put it back in the little moving box and thanked them for the experience, telling them I completely understood policy and respected their need to follow it.

I pulled around to the front, went in and saw them all huddled together presumably talking about the crazy lady that just came through the drive thru.  Picture this scene:  the entire staff of women were in those Friday football jerseys for the local team – some pink, some gray, some green.  The only person in an office was browsing through a yearbook.  Saying, “You can stop talking about me now; I’m here”, I proceeded to the only teller that appeared to have that color thing worked out (She was in a gray spirit shirt.) and told her I wanted to close the account.  I explained that I had really intended to close the account anyway when my favorite bank officer had retired, so now was as good a time as any.  I could tell they had been well-trained in customer service when she told me that they could reassemble the check (I should have let them do that and then closed the account, but the old brain just doesn’t always think too swift.), deposit it in my account, then I could write a $15 check and get the money that way.  Clever, but too late at that point.  The teller than proceeded to tell me that I should really take that money in the form of a cashier’s check instead of cash. (She should never leave an opening like that.)  I explained that I had already had trouble cashing one check at their bank, so I really didn’t want to take any chances on another check.  Just cash please.

I hope I just made their day more interesting with something more to talk about instead of looking at yearbooks and worrying about the spirit shirt color for Friday night lights. Aww, you’re right; spirit shirt colors are more important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=siW8MkUSo1s

Rain, rain and glorious rain

Finally, a really good, soaking rain here in drought stricken Texas.  For old farmers that means a great deal.  For example, it means I have had to watch more weather than I want to since I am married to an ole farmer.  It also means I have been relegated to checking the rain gauge several times a day. (Often while it is still raining!) (The Man just can’t do that walk to the rain gauge anymore.) Being raised in the city, I never did either of those things.  I just couldn’t go outside and play when it rained; all outside activities were suspended.  Of course today during one of the information gathering conversations with The Man I asked him why rain gauges were such a funny shape – meaning tapered down to the bottom.  The answer, built in with a bit of smuggery (Is that really my made up word?) was to measure small amounts of rain, such as a tenth or two tenths.  Older rain gauges, back in the “ole farmer days” were flat bottomed.  Then, someone got smarter or someone gave a flip and fixed that. 

Once upon a time, a man we affectionately know as Red (who aggravated the hound dog out of The Man for more than a few years) was complaining about not having a rain gauge.  The Man found one of those old ones and went to Red’s house armed with hammer and PLENTY of nails.  He proceeded to place that rain gauge right up next to Red’s front door as far under the porch as he could get it and attach it with all PLENTY of nails.  Red is long passed away.  Now, The Man and I are wondering if that rain gauge is still on that porch. 

I’ll ask the people that bought his place at church this Sunday.  Story ending to come after I find out the answer.

Whoops! A red light

Dear People, (City of Fort Worth, Automated Red Light Enforcement)

It is plain to see that I ran that red light.  The worst part of the whole ordeal is that my granddaughter was in the car.  We had spent the day shopping for material to make doll clothes and she had said, “Oh Grannie, that light was red.”  Of course, it was too late.  I had desperately tried to get over, but being unfamiliar with the new roads, waited too long.  (No one was being too friendly.)

I do want to say this, ” I was sure the intersection was clear, but could not get even one more look up to check the light.”

So, to sum it all up – I am really sorry for breaking the red light rule.  Here is my punishment along with sending you the knowledge that my granddaughter (who was in a very tragic accident when a drunk driver hit her mother) will probably only remember that her Grannie Pam ran a red light and that, my friends, is a far worse punishment than the fine!

Love to All

THE DOG

Of course, it was my idea.  Aren’t all those brainchildren mine??  She’s a beauty and so smart.  O.K. that’s the problem – too smart.  Skipper (Yes, that’s her name.) can be sooooo sneaky.  I mean, maybe just stubborn; but I had children that were stubborn and eventually it served them well.  I guess that means I shouldn’t give up hope yet.  She brings the paper in, but doesn’t always want to give it up.  She comes, sits,  and stays, but runs off when she gets the opportunity.  She follows me everywhere, but acts like a blithering idiot around other people.  I mean flippin out crazy.  We call her the Beast when anyone comes around.  Her manners are so bad around other people that she is not even allowed to be around anyone else.  I have learned to make her jump on the couch if anyone comes, so I can quickly snap the leash on her and tie her to the refrigerator door!  So far she hasn‘t pulled the fridge out the door!

Today was so bad I threatened her with the pound.  I don’t think she believed me.  Ah I love my dog.

The Words are impossible to hold back

Dear prior and future siblings in education.  Just a “touch base with you” sort of letter.  I felt very strongly about speaking to you about some strange happenings in the land of the “normal.” (Although I know that my quotations and period are correct, I still wish we could just step out there and move the quotes to the inside.) Stay on course you lazy retired teacher person that is up at 1:45 after an hour with “George and Gracie”.  (Oh I can see you correcting me if I was wrong this time.)  If you can’t tell by now, my style of writing is nothing short of the familiar stream of consciousness.  ANYWAY, I have found the perfect second life for all of us.  Teaching, (don’t run away) the once-a-week Sunday School class.  Churches are in need of teachers.  It’s only one time a week.  You have all week to prep. If any sweet little darlin’ gives you issues, you can send them to Mom or Dad (right down the hall) or tell them not to return (Wow, the ultimate definition of a bad kid.) Add all that up; then, throw this gasoline on the fire – the class only lasts an hour.  It can run over,  but never more than two hours tops.  O.K, now get ready for the piece de resistance. (for you Dr. Tracey) You get paid just as much as you have before – VERY LITTLE.  O.K., to be fair, just enough to enable you to keep on paying the electric company, gas company, phone company, grocery store, pharmacy, doctors, dentist, etc., etc., etc.  AND don’t forget that you can teach 3 year olds with the Kids Praise and just sing Do Lord for an hour.

Direct TV is persuasive

Today I called direct tv to disconnect service.  This means that we will have no television as we cannot seem to pick up local stations with antenna where we live.  I finally decided that 60 dollars a month for about 10 channels that I like out of the 300 that are offered seemed just too much.  Besides when I saw that I was watching “My mom is 57, but looks 27” I knew I had become a zombie.

When I called, I had already unhooked both receivers.  Of course tholle standard questions came – Why? What will yo do for TV service? etc.  When I told her that I was going to do without, she appeared concerned.  She offered to give me all the movie channels to stay with them – I said no.  She offered to give me the package I had for 29.99 a month – I said no.  She asked me what my monthly budget for TV could be and I said 20 dollars.  This seemed to end the bargains.  Guess they just couldn’t go that far!!  She was so nice and told me how I had been such a good customer for 11 years, before she sprang the 140 dollar cancellation fee on me.  I asked her what kind of contract did they have that lasted over 11 years!?  She said that when I ordered a new receiver last summer it automatically restarted the contract.  (Lightening ruined my receiver.  I ordered a new one.  I sent the old one back.)

I will give them credit though, before I had to get riled up, “they” decided to waive my fee.  How sweet.  At least it made me ok with going back to them if withdrawals are too painful.

I am meditating!! The man and I had the long, long conversation about how people did not always have TV.  He bought their first TV with the 1,000 dollar settlement from Zachary when the guy dropped the backhoe on him.  It cost 279 dollars and was a big cabinet sized Admiral.  He bought it in the early 1950s for his dad.  His dad went on and on about how it was a waste of money, but as the tube lit up for the first time, so did his eyes.  The man says one of his fondest memories is hearing his dad laugh out loud with Groucho was on.  I laugh out loud at TV also.  He says that reminds him of his dad.  I like that.

But back to before TV. I asked him, “What did yall do?”  He said, “Well, hell we worked till dark, then came in and ate.  Then we might sit out in the yard and talk or go straight to bed it we were especially tired.”  I asked what if you were alone.  He said, people read, or listened to the radio or visited or neighbors came over.  We had a really good conversation about it to calm my nerves.  See, it has helped already.

The man who talked to his dead wife

 

I called the Man this morning before I left to go see him.  For those of you that don’t know, he is in a rehab center after a fall.  First, the phone system would not cooperate.  I would call the rehab desk and ask for his room; they would ring his room; it would ring once; it would kick me to the main hospital switchboard; the switchboard lady would send me back to the rehab desk.  The rehab desk would ring his room; it would ring once; it would kick me to the main switchboard; the switchboard lady would send me back to the rehab desk.  The rehab – on well, you get the picture.  This lasted for five cycles when during one such cycle, while I was on hold for the person at rehab to put me through to the room, a different person picked up the phone and asked me who I was holding for.  I told her, and she told me to just hold on a second, the Man was right by the desk doing exercises with his arms and could come right to the phone.  I waited and finally a small voice said hello.  I knew instantly that is was not the Man, but when I asked to whom I was speaking, and he told me, I nearly choked.  It was a fellow patient that I had met on several occasions, and I knew from conversations with him that his wife was deceased.  I guess he figured it was a long distance call!

A first

This is why the Man needs a private room. Lots of little doctors and nurses.

Well, I finally made myself stay home today and not go to see the Man.  As you may know, the Man is in a rehab center.  He really has improved greatly, but the pain is still just crazy.  I really was sick today, but in the back of my mind was the realization that he is tougher when I am not there.  He doesn’t let others see his pain and works harder for them when I am not there.  I guess it’s like a kid that is not suffering as much until they see their mother.  Anyway, it was hard to do, and we had to talk twice on the telephone, but he also learned to use the phone.  This was his parting remark (before the I love you part), “Maybe I should just come home to see about you.”

I am hoping that one more week along with some proper equipment at home and we can make it at home for a while longer.  I am tired of sleeping alone.